My feelings as a stepmother are not that different from what I feel for the college students I work with on a daily basis. While this letter was written with my children in mind, it is exactly what I say to students who feel lost or confused.
I’m so proud of you for taking on the challenge of getting a college degree. You earned your place at the university. Take advantage of this great blessing in your life. While I cannot be with you every day, I hope you will consider these few pieces of advice during your journey.
It’s okay to change your mind. There is a great deal of pressure to choose a major and graduate on time, but at 18 it is difficult to decide what you will do for the rest of your life. Really examine your interests, take a variety of classes in the beginning, and start eliminating those areas that don’t excite you. There are probably classes out there you didn’t even know existed – like scuba diving! When it is time to firmly make that decision, choose the career path that lights a fire inside of you. It is okay if others don’t understand your choice …you are the one who will have to go to that job every day.
Know when to ask for help. There are hundreds of people on campus paid to help you. When you are frustrated because you studied for weeks and still failed a test, talk to your teacher immediately to examine what you could have done differently. When you are hungry and have no money to buy food, please go to the Multicultural Center because they think of you like family. When you are stressed out, go to the Rec Center, meet new people, and unload via basketball.
Be 100% responsible for yourself. No more parents, teachers, grandparents, or siblings around to help you remember what you need to do for the day. Deadlines are no joke. Laundry doesn’t wash itself. Attendance does matter. Learn to manage your money and your time. Do not dwell on your mistakes. Instead learn from those mistakes and take action to change the future.
Take risks. The person you were in high school will soon become a distant memory. This is your opportunity to become the person you always wanted to be. Challenge yourself to do amazing, scary, heart pounding things. There’s so much you don’t realize you don’t know – take every opportunity to learn and grow!!
Brotherhood is important. Surround yourself with friends and build a new home away from home. I hope you will meet new people from all over the world. Push them and yourself to be excellent every day. As you mature, take new students under your wing and help them through their transition to college. You are bright and charismatic. Please share your gifts to help others.
There will always be someone around to support you, love you, and encourage you whether it’s at home or at school. Every resource is at your fingertips to help you get to graduation. All you have to do is take the leap.
Love,
Your other Mom
